Usually when I write my birthday blog post each year, I share a list of things I’ve learned over the past twelve months. And while I do enjoy that sort of post, I felt that this year needed to be something different.

It’s the start of a lot of new things this year: a new decade, a new life with Hokino, and new job opportunities. As I look ahead at this next decade of life, I wanted to also look back at the last ten years and consider all of the events that have helped me become who I am today. There are so many pivotal moments that have shaped my passions, my personality, and my confidence, and so I wanted to share them with you today:

 

1. Helping my family move away from India

In the summer of 2010, my family was finally moving away from India after three years in the country. I’m not really sure what it is about this particular move, since we moved a lot growing up, but it felt so monumental… and still does ten years later. Perhaps because that home really was my last “childhood home” where I lived with my family. Even then, as I was in the thick of that move, it seemed to mark my transition away from my childhood and into my life as an adult.

2. Study abroad in Vienna

Making friends has always been an incredibly difficult thing for me (as it is with many introverts). It wasn’t until I went on my study abroad in Vienna that after many years I once again found the kind of friends I could be a complete goofball with one minute, and have our most meaningful, heartfelt conversations the next.

3. Living with Brianne and Cora

Bri and Cora: I just want to say here that living with you my senior year(s) made my college experience such a happy time. I would not look back on my years at BYU the way I do now, had I not had the chance to live with you!

4. Graduating college

I may not use my degree in the way I had always anticipated, but I do feel like attending and graduating from Brigham Young University shaped me for the better. I learned the value of finishing something. I learned how to admit when I need help. And I learned how to take care of myself (although my parents would probably correct me and say I was only HALF providing for myself).

5. Nannying in the Czech Republic

When I think about the fact that I went by myself to a foreign country, to live with a family I never met, and wander all over Prague alone… sometimes I’m amazed that the shy little girl (who was too scared to order in the drive-through until she was 17) not only did it… but had the most wonderful time in the process. Being a nanny for the Krsek family was an unforgettable experience that will always be a highlight of my life.

6. Having my heart broken

On a sadder, but equally important note, I’m glad I had my heart broken just a few months later. This experience was the pivotal moment in me discovering my sense of self-worth, my confidence in who I am, and what I bring to the table in a relationship. It also gave me a level of empathy for the heartbroken and the depressed that I am not sure I would be able to have, had I not gone through that experience.

7. Moving to Boston

While moving away from my last childhood home and graduating from college certainly played their own roles in developing me as an adult, I do feel like it was my move to Boston that finally taught me what it’s like to strike out and really do something on your own.

8. Really deciding to go for it with my photography

I know I didn’t quit my day job to pursue my dream full-time, but shortly after moving to Boston, I did decide photography was always going to be my biggest passion project. From that point on, it has been the thing I have dedicated my time and heart to because I know I have a story to share. Deciding I wasn’t going to let this JUST be a hobby of mine is perhaps one of the most defining moments of my life. I am and always will be a storyteller and an artist.

9. Feeling abandoned

Boston did not end up being the place I found all the things I was looking for, like I was hoping it would be when I moved there… at least, not how I thought it would. It ended up being one of the most difficult experiences of my life. Never before had I known what it was like to feel completely unloved and unwanted, even when I experienced heartbreak a couple years earlier. But I know that had I not felt those things in Boston, I would not have felt a fraction of the appreciation and joy that I currently feel in my life now. And I would do it all again, if it meant finding this level of joy and happiness.

10. Getting Freya

There’s something about getting your very own pet for the first time. Sure, it’s not as scary as actually having a kid, but I was so nervous the first few weeks I had her! And while being in Boston was still hard, having Freya with me that last year made everything a little happier. She’s my little buddy and I can’t imagine not having her!

11. Moving back to Bentonville

When I moved to Boston, I didn’t think I would ever want to move back to Bentonville, at least not until I was married. It just always felt like the place you would raise a family, not the place for someone who was young, single, and trying to start their career. I was scared moving back would be admitting defeat.

But I felt so strongly that this was where Heavenly Father wanted me to be. And He was absolutely right. Moving back has actually been the single best decision I believe I have made over the last decade. Hands down.

12. Buying my house

I have dreamed of owning my home since I got to decorate my room for the first time at the age of 12. I’ve always wanted to have my own place where I could paint, hang, and rearrange everything exactly how I wanted. And I found the cutest 1905 farmhouse that I love with all my heart. Hopefully one day I can get her looking as beautiful as I know she is capable of being.

13. Losing my job with iBasis

I was so, SO scared when my boss called me that August afternoon last year to tell me they were letting me go. But even though my first thought was terror at potentially not being able to pay my mortgage, the second sensation that washed over me was relief. I hated working for that company. There wasn’t a single day working there that I felt peace and joy about what I was doing.

So yes, I was scared… but I also knew deep down that there was more in store for me. And even though it’s taken several months to get back on my feet, I am now on a path that allows me to have the things I’ve always wanted in a career: flexibility, passion, and creativity!

14. Meeting Hokino

And finally, the most impactful event that has occurred these last ten years: meeting Hokino. And I will agree: it’s very true that having a boyfriend or a husband doesn’t make you “whole” or “complete”. If Boston taught me anything, it’s that you can be these things without having a partner. But having Hokino in my life gives me a level of peace like I have never experienced. Life feels elevated. He simultaneously allows me to by myself in every single way, while still helping me to be a better person.

When I imagined what my future husband would look like, I always wanted it to be a marriage that was filled with friendship, trust, support, and laughter. There isn’t a single day now where I don’t feel like he is my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the person who helps calm all my anxieties with his unbelievably chill nature. And like I had always hoped: there isn’t a single day that isn’t filled with joy and laughter when he is around.

So, if I had one last sentence to sum up everything that my 20s have taught me, it is this: it is never the end, and it is always worth trying one more time. I know there are times when life feels absolutely horrid and you can’t even comprehend being happy again, but I know it is those valleys that make everything else seem so wonderful in comparison.

I have been told the 30s are some of the best years of your life. I’m excited for what this next decade will bring. And even though there will be valleys, I hope the lessons I learn will always help me appreciate the joys more richly. And I think there’s no better way to start this next decade, than by marrying the man who has made everything seem right in the world.