The very greatest things – great thoughts, discoveries, inventions – have usually been nurtured in hardship, often pondered over in sorrow, and at length established with difficulty.

– Samuel Smiles

The inspiration for Pondered in Sorrow came to me during one of the most difficult periods in my life. While living in Boston, the place I had moved to to fulfill my dreams, find my purpose, and find “the one”, I instead grew to feel more alone and unwanted with each passing day. Everything I did seemed to be the wrong course of action. I can remember one particular evening, crying alone in my room and thinking to myself “You’re just a weed. The kind no one want’s in their garden.” I imagined myself as this spiny, prickly thistle… an ugly and undesirable thing.

I sat with that feeling for a while (as we often do when wallowing in self pity). But a trip down the rabbit hole of google one day helped me to look at this situation with a new perspective. It was at the bottom of that rabbit hole that I came across the legend of the Scottish thistle and its status as the national flower of Scotland. According to legend, the Scots were resting one evening after a lengthy battle. The enemies of the Scots, however, thought they would be clever by removing their shoes and surprising them with a deadly attack in the middle of the night. What these enemies didn’t know, however, was that the field between the two camps was covered in thistles. And so, instead of surprising their enemies, their cries of pain as they trod on the prickly thistles resulted in alerting the Scottish army, who quickly became the victors over their barefoot enemies.

Since then, and despite their reputation as an unwanted weed, the Scots have seen them for what they were – a beautiful, enduring symbol of resilience and strength.

This legend was exactly the inspiration I needed to turn my frustrations and heartache into something beautiful. Suddenly I saw a way to take my experience, that deeply hurtful period of feeling unwanted, and turn it into something that others could feel comfort from and find beauty in. And so the idea of Pondered in Sorrow was born.

While the realization of this idea has morphed over the years from my initial inspiration, what has resulted is something I am truly proud of and excited to share with those who may need to hear the message of sorrow and resiliency and how they go hand in hand.