“The heart will break, but broken live on.” – Lord Byron

“The Heart Will Break” was originally inspired by the very first time I had my heart broken. However this image is vastly different from the original image that I had planned while going through that experience.

Initially, I pictured this desolate landscape, a figure completely shrouded in black. I saw a barren tree and dry, cracked earth. However, I knew this was only one person’s vision of what heartbreak looked like and I knew I needed to search more deeply. These images were never meant to just depict my own experiences. They were meant to remind everyone that has gone through the experience of heartbreak what that felt like and, more importantly, the beauty that came out of that experience.

And so I asked my audience “what has heartbreak looked like to you?”

Answers came pouring in:

“Heartbreak felt like I was wearing a mask of happiness for the rest of the world to see, when all I felt inside was despair.”

“Heartbreak felt like I was crumbling into pieces and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.”

“Heartbreak felt cold.”

“Heartbreak felt utterly alone.”

“Heartbreak felt like my chest was completely empty and nothing could ever refill it.”

And I realized that heartbreak had so many more facets than just desolation, as I had felt it. So I endeavored to incorporate all those answers into my piece. A dress, covered in shattered glass to represent falling apart. Silver leafing on the face to both reinforce the crumbling feeling and the idea of a mask shown to the rest of the world. A necklace reminiscent of an empty rib cage. Cold, blue processing techniques to reinforce the ice we feel inside.

With all of these pieces brought together, The Heart Will Break began to come to life. I created the dress from black fabric I had on hand. Glass seemed perhaps too dangerous to use, and so I dirtied and shattered old cds and sewed each individual piece to my gown. I used the silver leaf I usually embellished my photos with to create the “mask” on my model. And with some modeling clay, paint, and silver leaf, I created a necklace that gently spoke to the idea of the emptiness many people expressed feeling.

As I look at these images now, I’m so much happier with the message they convey. Perhaps my original idea would have been beautiful. But it would have only been one story. One facet of heart break. And while “Passages” is autobiographical in nature… it’s not just my biography it speaks to.